tehah_hero (tehah_hero) wrote,

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Title: The Knocked Up Boys
Author: tehah_hero
Beta-ed by: shin9095
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Humor, Romance, Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Plot isn’t mine. Plot based on Dekichatta Danshi.

Summary: A womaniser to the core. Jaejoong  got more than what he bargained for when a baby was suddenly dropped at his doorstep. Jaejoong resolved to raise the baby alone, although not without the help of his childhood friend Yunho, whom he also shared a casual sexual relationship with. Would Jaejoong be able to juggle with the sudden pressure of parenthood along with his budding feeling for his childhood friend?


It was a beautiful Sunday where the sun shone brightly though a bit chilly, birds chirping, singing their own tune. A great day to do the laundry, and that was what Kim Jaejoong did. Doing the laundry at the early of the dawn, since he practically couldn’t get much sleep anyways so why not used the time he had before the little monster awake, screaming for attention and ruining all his plans of the day.

Jaejoong fluffed his blanket and hung the white-elephant-printed cotton cloth on the retractable clothes hanger. He huffed and grumbled, continuing the same procedure with other laundry, mostly Sungwoong’s baby pyjama and shorts. Well, he found a shirt or two which belonged to Yunho, and he wondered how his neighbor’s clothes migrated into his dirty laundry basket.

Usually, I would be out with girls until Sunday morning and I’d wake up around noon, or even later in the afternoon. The cooking and cleaning would be half-assed since I had no family. I did everything that I wanted without a care. But now, with that brat crying in the middle of the night, child rearing that was forced on me without my willingness, which happened to be cleaning up spilled milk and wiping away baby food from all over the baby’s body, changing smelly diapers, and even housekeeping, I have no social life!

“Since he arrived, I had no sleep. At all.” Jaejoong gritted his teeth, looking exhausted with his eye bags.

His palm balled into a fist, shoulders shaking and teeth clattering at the sudden rush of madness.

“Give me back my Sundays! Or my life that is!” He screamed in agony.

Jaejoong patted Sungwoong’s bottom as he rocked the baby in a gentle sway. The baby’s face was tucked at the crook of his neck, mumbling something gibberish which only babies would understand.

“I’m so stressed up.” He sighed, rubbing Sungwoong’s back softly.

Sungwoong giggled as he got a hold of Jaejoong’s nose, pinching and pulling the said nose happily.

“Oii, that’s hurt. Stop it. And don’t be too happy.” He grumbled, successfully earning back his nose unharmed though the baby was upset by it.

“Housewives are amazing. How can they cope with so many brats running around the house when I can barely keep up with this baby who doesn’t even know how to stand on his own feet yet? Are they superwomen?”

He sighed for the nth times, making a face when Sungwoong puckered his lips toward his chest, which he thanked the heaven because he wore a shirt.

“… -right for the babies. And it’s a stress relief for the mothers as well.” His soon-to-be thrown away television was grabbed desperately, eyes went wide.

“What is it?” He shouted. Sungwoong immediately whimpered at the sudden outburst but Jaejoong paid no heat, concentrating on the girl with flowery dress on the screen.


“On a nice day, you should do a Park Debut.”

At least that was what the television said.

Jaejoong grinned a little bit too brightly at Yunho.

“So?” Yunho moved the sleeping baby higher up his shoulder as he kept on sliding down as Yunho moved while looking at Jaejoong with a ridiculous face.

“Why do I have to take him? Why not you?” He slipped on his shoes with difficulty since the baby was resting on him, he couldn’t carelessly bend down and hurt Sungwoong.

“Are you dense? Or just a plain idiot? If I brought a baby, rumors would spread!” Jaejoong hissed.

“Do you know the different perspectives between a delinquent son of a shutdown bar and a son of a very successful diner, who happens to be very straight too? Don’t you realised that we give out different vibes to people around us?”

“Huh? Well, that’s kind of true.” Yunho trailed unsurely.

“I know I’m right. Been hearing that since forever.” Jaejoong smirked, a bit proudly too.

Jaejoong stared at the other man, and Yunho lifted his eyebrow eyeing him confusedly.

“What are you waiting for? Go, now!” he shooed both the taller male and the baby.

Yunho walked slowly, careful not to wake the sleeping infant before the corner of his eye caught Jaejoong’s figure following not far behind.

And he follows me too closely too. Stupid..

Jaejoong hid behind the lamp post (well he tried to but a lamp post wouldn’t be able to hide him completely), grinning wolfishly.

“Oh, Yunho-sshi. Who’s this baby?” A middle-aged woman asked, one hand was stroking Yunho’s arm while the other was occupied with her grocery.

“I’m watching him for a bit.” Yunho grimaced at the wrinky hand trying to feel him up.

Seriously adults these days..

“I see. He’s so cute.”

Jaejoong did a fist pump, earning terrified looks from the kids passing by the same route.

“I’m a genius! I know this would happen!”

He grinned while eavesdropping them, catching in some of how tall are you, did you work out, where did you buy that pants and some other nonsense shits.

Jaejoong stared at the two. Gaze fell on Yunho who kept on talking to the old woman though he spotted a line of frown on his forehead, how gentleman. Sungwoong whined as the chattering woke him up from his nap, sucking his thumb while looking past Yunho’s shoulder, spotting Jaejoong almost immediately.

‘I won’t ever leave you.’

Jaejoong jolted back into realisation as he remembered back to Yunho’s words few days before.

Whoah! Don’t need to remember that. I totally forget about it until now.

He blushed as his mind wandered to their state when Yunho said that embarrassing things. Hands clasping above his heart, he bunched his jacket in a tight fist, feeling as if his heart was about to rip out.


Why did I remember such things?

“Wha- What am I getting all excited about? I’m not in love.”

Jaejoong shivered.

“I’m not in love. I’m definitely not in love. I love women.”

Jaejoong concentrated on his mind, pushing it to naughty thoughts of naked women and boobs, and that was before it turned into a very naked and wet Yunho looking so deliciously sexy.

“No. No. Not you.” He screamed, startling few housewives chatting close by.

“Damn it. Except for me, every other man should just die off.” He hissed as he massaged his poor, poor heart.

As he peeked to look at Yunho and Sungwoong again, his sight caught a scene where the most beautiful housewife ever exist in their neighborhood whose name Jaejoong didn’t remember.

“Yunho-shhi, who is this little guy? He’s so cute.”

“How old is he?”

“Is it Nara? Or is it Saehi? Saemi?”

Hey! How did he get the attention from a pretty babe like that? It should be me basking in her attention.

Jaejoong flinched when the lady leaned close to Yunho, stroking Sungwoong’s cheek and introducing her own baby to the duo.

A thought downed into him and his breath hitched, squeezing his chest painfully.

As soon as they arrived at the park, which was not in their neighborhood, Yunho immediately slumped down on a chair after passing Sungwoong to Jaejoong, sighing heavily.

“It’s pretty tough carrying him around.” He said while massaging his abused arm.

“Yeah. Thanks a lot.” Jaejoong said with a pout, tightening the baby in his arms.

“Uh- Well, sure.” He wondered what’s with that pout.

“Well, we shouldn’t run into anyone we know at this park. It’s pretty far away from home.”

Jaejoong nodded, didn’t bother to say anything in return.

“Hey! Yunho! Jae! Long time no see.”

Jaejoong paled, looking at their childhood friend, Woobin who had a toddler in his arms, grinning blindingly at them. Kim Woobin, a high school dropout who managed to impregnate a girl at the early age of 17 years old. Jaejoong never felt so proud of this friend.

“Oh, he’s your sister’s. I thought Jaejoong ended up following my footsteps. ”

“Why do you automatically assume it’s me?” Jaejoong glared.

“Like it could be Yunho!” Woobin laughed.

“Because Yunho looks like someone who’d have a very normal marriage. Very straight up too.”

The father of the toddler leered at the shorter male in front of him.

“But you’re the type to knock some girls up. You’re pretty loose with women.”

“Shut it! Your wife clearly wears the pants, making you bring the kid by yourself.” He snarled.

Yunho tried very hard not to let Sungwoong tore the girl’s hair off, face paled as the girl wouldn’t stop grabbing at his baby’s hand. No violence when I’m around!

“Idiot! Don’t underestimate the park debut. Look.” Woobin snapped his finger towards a bunch of young housewives chattering their lives away.

“Housewives are very nice to new fathers- …” Woobin glanced at Yunho, looking puzzled.

“He’s gone. That idiot.” Yunho gritted his teeth.

“That horndog. It’s still about his desire.”

“Leave him alone. He can’t help it. He grew up surrounded by women at the bar. I think he feels safe around women.” Yunho looked at Jaejoong’s figure far at the end of the park, laughing merrily.

“And you’re still a saint.”

Yunho ignored the remark, forehead creased into a frown.

“I’m just gonna go and beat him up a little. I’m a little ticked off.” He hauled Sungwoong up onto his shoulder, marching to Jaejoong.

“What? You’re the one who told me to leave him alone.”

“What is that idiot doing, leaving him with me?” Yunho face darkened as he got closer to the chattering group.

“This one site is very good.”

“Even if you’re just watching him, you still have to do it right.”

“Right, it won’t be healthy to just feed him pre-packaged baby food.”

“This blog is good too.”


“It even has information on how to emotionally prepare for raising children.”

Jaejoong typed rapidly on his phone, nodding at the housewives’ advises.

“I’d better sign up.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

“Thank you.”

One of the housewives glanced to the right and spotted Yunho’s figure behind Jaejoong, Sungwoong guffawed at Jaejoong in recognition.

“Oh another one. Is he a friend? Or your brother?”

And within seconds, everyone who had paid attention at Jaejoong, found Yunho more worthy.

“Oooh, he’s my type.”

“What’s your name?”

“He’s the type you want to marry. Parents would love him.”

“What’s your name?”

Yunho paled as more women gathered around him.

“What?” Jaejoong almost shouted at them.

That jerk when did he- ..

‘Because Yunho looks like someone who will have a very normal marriage.’

The image in front of him made him think of Woobin’s words about Yunho.

He stared at Yunho’s face, women circling him with interest.

“He does look like someone who’ll have a normal marriage. Really.”

Jaejoong felt lightheaded so suddenly, legs wobbled under his weight, like his energy had been sucked out of him.

Yunho glanced at Jaejoong, eyes widen immediately when the other male looked exceptionally pale and wobbled dangerously.

“Hey, Jae-!” Yunho immediately leaped to the rescue before Jaejoong’s body reached the ground.

Yunho sat on the futon, hand patting Sungwoong’s bottom as the baby snored softly, eyes kept on Jaejoong.


Jaejoong jumped on his feet as realisation dawned into him.

“Oh, you’re up. Haven’t you been sleeping?” Yunho frowned.

“Huh? Ah yeah..”

Yunho sighed.

“You fell asleep at the park. Woobin helped me carrying Sungwoong while I hauled your ass up from the park until home.”

“Oh god. I’m sorry.”

“Quit pushing yourself to hard, alright? If you need help, just call me. I’m right next door.” He sighed again.

“If I’m  asleep you can always wake me up.” Yunho patted his head softly and stood up.

I’m not in love.

“Can I use the kitchen?”


I’m not in love.

“My parents do run a diner. I can at least make some baby’s food.”

“-don’t. I don’t need your help.” Jaejoong snapped.


“I’ve been cooking for myself for a long time. I can make baby food myself.”

“You passed out! Don’t be stubborn.” Yunho snapped.                            

“I told you I didn’t need your help!”

“I don’t expect you to help anyway. He’s my problem.”

Yunho balled his palm in a tight fist.

“It’s none of your business!”

“Thanks for today. Now go home..”

“You..” He wondered why Jaejoong’s face looked so sad when he was the one who should feel sad.

“Oh well, I made him mad at me again.” He dropped his head on his small dinner table, feeling exhausted all over again, placing Sungwoong’s so-called nest on the table gently.

But we’re back to normal now.

The door to his house slammed shut, making a rattling sound.

Fighting, fornicating, childhood friends, that’s all we need to be. I don’t want compassion or love.

Sungwoong had been woken up by the door noise, and staring at Jaejoong without a blink.

I wish I can marry Yunho. Must be nice.

What the hell am I thinking? I must be stupid.

He thumped his again on the wooden table, eyes trained on Sungwoong who had his head out of his basket.

I wish Yunho’d come back. He said he wouldn’t leave me. I guess not and I did make him mad.

His eyes dropped, exhaustion took toll on him.

I won’t ask for love.

The keys clattered and Yunho made his appearance in the kitchen, immediately spotting Sungwoong who tried to reach for Jaejoong.

“Let him sleep. He’s just being stupid because he’s too tired.” He huffed at the other male and picked Sungwoong up into his arms, leaving bags of groceries on the kitchen counter.

So please stay with me for a little longer.

Yunho leaned down and stroked Jaejoong’s hair softly, leaving a light peck on the other male’s forehead.



A/N:        I’m here again after long hiatus :3 Sorry for such late update.
              My brain isn’t working like I want.. /pats self/
Tags: genre:fluff, genre:humor, genre:romance, length:chaptered, pairing:yunjae, rating:pg-13
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